I am not an anchor

but a buoy
Flopping and bouncing with wind
and waves
Knowing this boat
needs to drift sometimes
hug a shore
break loose
then submit to tides
and seaweed, wet boots, soggy blankets
matted, twisted hair at the nape of my neck
Hard rowing towards horizons and inlets
then rest
Prone to diving in without knowing how deep
the water is or how cold
Joking that I only feel one side
 fretting about the other giving out
Calling out to my god when the wind whispers
then howls so my voice disappears and I wonder
from deep within me
which prayers have been heard.