Tuesday, June 13, 2017


The bird that swooped down in front of the car ahead of me the other day didn't stand a chance
My first impulse was to swerve
All I saw was tangled black and white matted feathers dropping in a straight line
I felt a responsibility to it
But before I could fully brake I wondered, "What?"
Could I see myself rescuing this tattered pile, scooping it up in my hands and trying to sort out a place to put it in my car that would allow it to be unencumbered, to possibly fly once it got its bearings and shook off the shock of impact?
There was no place to pull over and my head was already filled with what was left of a day
Conversations filled with riddles
Plenty of placating ( a type of rescuing for sure)
There was nothing there when I looked in the rear view mirror which was a relief
and the car in front was long gone.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

It’s hard to believe that Grammy left this world nine years ago, today. I remember hearing the news and to keep from crying, I laughed instead, thinking. ‘She always had a sense of humor.’

Having a birthday that falls three days after Valentine’s Day, it as though there’s a time stamp engraved into my memory. I turned twenty-five the day of her funeral, and it was an experience which ultimately changed the course of my life.

After her passing, I swore I would be more thoughtful with the choices I made. Losing her made me realize that life was way too short to not always be pursuing the things that bring me joy. My grandmother, without her ever knowing her influence, taught me to take risks and to be unapologetic when it comes to protecting the things that mean the most.

My heart, for example, was a topic that was of much concern to her, as I grew from a child, into a teenager, and later a young woman. Like any motherly figure, she wanted to be sure I had a person in my life who would cherish my heart. Part of her too, I’m sure, was always afraid of that young man who would eventually break my heart.

What I wish I could share with her today is that even though I did at times know what a broken heart felt like, it was the strength she instilled in me that helped me to keep on. And in times of utter doubt, she was always the guiding force that gave me faith.

I know beyond anything that she would’ve adored my partner Nick. A man so kind and gentle with my heart, I sometimes like to think he was the man she imagined for me so long ago, when I was just a giggling little girl.

As she requested at the end of her life, we spread her ashes in Silver Lake; a place where our family loves to spend time in the summers. Though she hated knowing there would be so much she would miss, what brought her peace was that her spirit would inhabit a place we would often return to, and that in a way, she would always be right there with us when we would go for a swim or have a picnic. That’s why when Nick and I decided to get married, we couldn’t think of a better place to have our ceremony than Silver Lake.

It will be such an honor to marry my partner and friend this July, surrounded by our closest loved ones. And I know my grandmother will certainly be smiling upon us that day with her own blessings...

Happy Valentine's Day, 
Norma Lenore.