I dive into the water several nights per week

I know I am there for quiet and to hear myself breath

water warming against my skin with each

awkward stroke

changing it up side to side, front to back

dragging myself across the surface

while the bored lifeguard flicks himself awake

He avoids eye contact and it's okay with me

I just wish I were a better swimmer

For fun I envision myself as a butterfly 

not panicked when I close my eyes and

 bump into the cool blue sides

, thinking I will feel the water better that way

I am determined

To propel myself forward

Making time

against that aimless clock with the giant hand that clucks with each move

never set for swimmers like me

who refuse to wear a rubber cap

or goggles

sometimes floating

Just because I can