The more I say, "I am here,

I am present"

the more the target is fixed

Who knew that when I decided to stand still

it was an agreement to accept the angst of the aggrieved?

A disclaimer is needed, I set myself up, cried out

"Bring it on!"

Thinking I was ready

When all I wanted was to feel my feet

firmly on the ground

and hear the quiet of my breathing as I drifted off each night

satisfied that each day was filled 

with love and the intent to do good.

On this sacred day you joked about the flower salesman at the ski lodge who said $39 when you asked about the cost of his bouquet

You said, "I'll just give her the money"

and forgot that my mother died today

and I was alone while you were skiing under brilliant skies, blue and sunny.

I sat on the deck and watched a hawk diving and squawking while crows chased

it under the same sky

The blue was the gift

the light was the warmth

and memory was its own embrace

We Accept This Time

as comfort

a place to reside

and move forward with routines

created in each day

We no longer discuss the importance

of time (at my request), rather, we take for granted that each day

will rise and fall with a leg draped over a hip

snuffly snores when pushed to the side

Taking for granted the pounding heart beside us

that skips in dreams

pretends not to wander

or wonder

But we never forget

What came before

Potent and passionate

Breathless

Fleshy and fearless

and that was before we reached the stairs.